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Bog Standard

Toilet humor has traditionally served as the reliable retreat for daily publications, and writers stay alert of notable bog-related stories and historic moments, particularly within football. What a delight it was to learn that Big Website columnist a well-known presenter owns a West Bromwich Albion-inspired toilet within his residence. Spare a thought regarding the Barnsley supporter who interpreted the restroom a little too literally, and needed rescuing from the vacant Barnsley ground after falling asleep on the loo during halftime of a 2015 loss against Fleetwood Town. “His footwear was missing and misplaced his cellphone and his headwear,” explained an official from the local fire department. And everyone remembers when, at the height of his fame at Manchester City, the Italian striker popped into a local college to access the restrooms back in 2012. “Balotelli parked his Bentley outside, then came in and was asking directions to the restrooms, subsequently he entered the faculty room,” an undergraduate shared with a Manchester newspaper. “Later he simply strolled through the school as if he owned it.”

The Restroom Quitting

Tuesday represents 25 years to the day that Kevin Keegan resigned as England manager post a quick discussion within a restroom stall alongside FA executive David Davies in the bowels of Wembley, after the notorious 1-0 loss against Germany in 2000 – England’s final match at the historic stadium. As Davies remembers in his diary, FA Confidential, he had entered the sodden struggling national team changing area directly following the fixture, discovering David Beckham crying and Tony Adams energized, the two stars urging for the official to reason with Keegan. After Dietmar Hamann's set-piece, Keegan moved wearily along the passageway with a blank expression, and Davies found him slumped – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – within the changing area's edge, whispering: “I'm done. I can't handle this.” Grabbing Keegan, Davies tried desperately to save the circumstance.

“What place could we identify for a private conversation?” recalled Davies. “The tunnel? Crawling with television reporters. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The shower area? I was unable to have a crucial talk with the team manager as squad members entered the baths. Just a single choice remained. The toilet cubicles. A significant event in English football's extensive history occurred in the ancient loos of a venue scheduled for destruction. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I secured the door behind us. We remained standing, looking at each other. ‘You can’t change my mind,’ Kevin said. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I’m going out to the press to tell them I’m not up to it. I cannot inspire the squad. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Aftermath

And so, Keegan resigned, eventually revealing he viewed his tenure as national coach “empty”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I found myself going and training the blind team, the deaf team, working with the ladies team. It's an extremely challenging position.” Football in England has advanced considerably during the last 25 years. Regardless of improvement or decline, those Wembley restrooms and those twin towers have long disappeared, although a German now works in the technical area Keegan previously used. Tuchel's team is considered among the frontrunners for next year's international tournament: England fans, don’t take this era for granted. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

Live Updates

Tune in with Luke McLaughlin at 8pm British Summer Time for Women’s Bigger Cup updates concerning Arsenal's match against Lyon.

Today's Statement

“There we stood in a long row, wearing only our undergarments. We were the continent's finest referees, top sportspeople, examples, adults, parents, strong personalities with high morals … yet nobody spoke. We barely looked at each other, our gazes flickered a bit nervously while we were called forward two by two. There Collina examined us thoroughly with an ice-cold gaze. Silent and observant” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson reveals the humiliating procedures officials were once put through by ex-Uefa refereeing chief Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What does a name matter? There exists a Dr Seuss poem named ‘Too Many Daves’. Have Blackpool suffered from Too Many Steves? Steve Bruce, along with aides Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been shown through the door marked ‘Do One’. So is that the end of the club’s Steve obsession? Not completely! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie continue to manage the main squad. Full Steve ahead!” – John Myles.

“Now that you've relaxed spending restrictions and provided some branded items, I've opted to write and offer a concise remark. Postecoglou mentions he initiated altercations in the school playground with kids he anticipated would defeat him. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his decision to join Nottingham Forest. As an enduring Tottenham follower I'll remain thankful for the second-year silverware but the only second-season trophy I can see him winning near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the second tier and that would be a significant battle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|